I have distanced myself from you, creating barriers and pretending you were not there.
For your presence was too much to bare.
Deep down I knew I wanted you with me.
But you brought rules and limitations, judgment and inequality.
So I fought to be free.
And the barriers grew strong and unbreakable.
The distance grew wide and insurmountable
Then I found freedom, freedom to get lost in the corporate world.
Freedom to be frivolous and live a life without meaning.
For without you in my life I have no foundation,
no balance and no clarity to see.
That all this freedom was killing me.
But the distance was so great and the barriers so strong.
Why would you want to break through, even if I admitted that I was wrong?
How could I make you see,
That you are everything to me.
For I am a Ba’al Teshuva and this is the mission of mine.
I will find my way back to you one Shabbas at a time.
By Tammy Wilson