This picture of Rachel's Tomb compliments
of Avrohom Dovid
http://www.ThirdTemple.com
Opening the Fifty Doors
to Freedom
THE BAAL AKEIDAH TELLS US that yearning has two components. One is pain; the other is hope. We felt both as we left Egypt. The recognition of Hashem's involvement with us and His love for us provided us with the hope that the inarticulate more would be satisfied in the course of the journey upon which we embarked. It is a journey that is relevant to us today, as it is made by each one of us moment by moment. We are commanded to constantly remember the Exodus. This reflects the fact that we are continually emerging from both the limitations we have created for ourselves and those that are inherent to the nature of living in a world which is defined by its disharmony.
Doors that open the possibility of meaningful integration of all our capacities are constantly being presented to us. We can open them or we can ignore them. The most horrific of all possibilities is that our fear of failure will cause us to close them so tightly that we can begin to believe that there is no meaning to be discovered. We then despair and despise ourselves as we endeavor to retreat from life.
The Shelah haKodesh tells us that the fifty times the Exodus is mentioned in the Torah is meaningful. Each mention is a hint at a door we had closed at one point and later opened.
The number fifty is an allusion to man's capacity to express himself harmoniously. How so? Let us focus for a moment on the significance of numbers. The Maharal maintains that when something is true, it is by its definition true on every level. Thus if an idea is "true" philosophically but not mathematically, it is not true at all. Therefore, when the Torah gives us a number upon which we can focus, it is never just an interesting diversion. Rather, it is part of a greater truth. In fact, Hashem gives us the ability to use numbers not only to facilitate the physical conquest of the world, but primarily as a tool that allows us to divide massive concepts into digestible fragments. The number fifty, like all numbers, reflects a specific part of the greater whole. It is used to symbolize the ways by which Hashem's image is expressed by Him and mirrored by our souls, which are in His image. What does this mean?
The part of us that is a direct counterpart of the Creator is what we mean when we use the word soul. When we emulate Him, when we imitate His attributes, we are expressing this Godly image. These attributes, called middos or sefiras, were revealed during the seven days of Creation. The word sefirah is related to the verb le-saper, "to tell." The Creation, in a certain sense, is Hashem's story of Himself to the degree that we humans can grasp it. Each of the seven middos He revealed interact with each other and lead us to a picture of reality that is greater than the forty-nine components that result from combining these middos. Thus the number fifty symbolizes Godliness. It represents the whole picture. And it is found in miniature within us as well. We discover our souls as we respond to life. When we use our insight to examine the external realities that face us, and act on them in a Godly way, we can give expression to these middos.
The fifty mentions of the Exodus hint at fifty ways that Hashem liberates us. He gives us the opportunity to live lives that express our middos and use our bodies. This is how we can develop an integrated and harmonious lifestyle.
We can, however, deceive ourselves into wallowing in illusory freedom and silencing the soul into submission. When there are no limitations placed the body's expression, it takes up the entire stage. The Maharal points out that denying either the body or the soul is not our purpose. Integration and concordant symmetry of the forces within us is the goal. An affirmation of this connection is found in the fact that we count the days between our physical redemption, Pesach, and the ultimate channel by which the soul finds its goal, Shavuos. By counting, we join the two potentially opposing forces.
The Midrash tells us, "If there is no flour, there is no Torah; if there is no Torah, there is no flour." The act of counting elevates the "flour," the physical, and gives the Torah a bond to the physical world. The doors are revealed, and it is now up to us to open them.
The Sefas Emes tells us that the key to opening the doors is rectifying the middos we have in common with Hashem. This is the deeper meaning of the Mishnah, "Derech Eretz precedes the Torah." Each day of sefirah presents us with illumination from Above that gives us the strength to move forward more than at any other time. Even so, the Shem MiShmuel comments, we cannot hope in one day to rectify a flaw in our middos that is so deep and damaging that it may take a lifetime to heal. What we can do is reach a point in which we have enough pain and enough hope that we retain within us the spirit of yearning for directions and clarity. It is then that we can submit ourselves to Hashem and let Him heal us.
